(Written by a father whose daughter went through treatment at PROMIS and who asked that this piece be made available for future family members to read.)

“This note was prepared a few weeks after our daughter had left PROMIS after six weeks of in-patient care and its intention is to offer parents, relations or friends of new patients some reassurance.

Our daughter was admitted to PROMIS after having suffered from anorexia for three years. Before that she was depressed and had experienced other difficulties. During this period she was seen by an educational psychologist, an experienced cognitive therapist, her GP, a consultant psychiatrist, different counsellors and therapists under the auspices of the psychiatrist, another psychotherapist, a homeopath and a hypnotherapist. As parents, we read as much as we could about the illness; trundled along to family therapy sessions; made efforts to contact other parents in a similar position as ourselves; and tried, and sometimes failed, to keep ourselves sane whilst our world was collapsing around us. We hesitated for a long time about ‘clinics’, as we had heard of horror stories and certainly did not wish to compound our existing guilt by making any more ‘mistakes’.

Then, by a series of coincidences, we learned of PROMIS, took a deep breath and plunged in. If someone you love has been admitted to PROMIS then you will probably have experienced exactly the same spectrum of feelings and emotions as we have. It is hell on earth and the despair is not easily conveyed to one’s friends and less immediate relations.

And when your loved one is admitted there is the acute anxiety as to whether you have done the right thing. Should they be there at all? Perhaps we could have tried another therapist? Is this the best clinic? Do these people really know what they are doing? Wouldn’t it be better to separate anorexics from drug addicts and alcoholics from gamblers?

It was after attending a couple of Robert’s Sunday lunchtime lectures that we began to understand what had been going on in our daughter’s mind. I could not begin to add up the hours we spent trying to fathom the unfathomable and finally here was a man who explained the process logically, in plain English and with humanity.

It seemed to us that patients are treated with kindness and dignity. I am certain that there are, and always will be, difficult moments and that patients may feel that some of these could have been handled differently. In that context we have not encountered any ‘medical arrogance’, the staff listen to you and are keen to receive feedback so as to further refine the programme. We have learned also that these disorders do not ‘go quietly’ and that if you do receive a distressing cry for help from your loved one, it is likely to be from the illness and not the patient.

We can only write from our experience but we found the in-patient clinic in Kent to be a good place, a safe place and one that offers both patients and their families a way out of hell. And they try to do it with a light touch.

Trust them. And do the Family Workshop!”